tsql jokes

When running sp_spaceused and see that 80% of table size are my indexes.

When running sp_spaceused and see that 80% of table size are my indexes.

When running simple select statement and running to DBA asking if SQL Server is still online.

When running simple select statement and running to DBA asking if SQL Server is still online.

When free coffee is announced at the dev conference.

When free coffee is announced at the dev conference.

When making deduplication of your customer table and you realize, you only have one customer.

When making deduplication of your customer table and you realize, you only have one customer.

When documentation has 5 pages of general descriptions and rules and 50 pages of exceptions.

When documentation has 5 pages of general descriptions and rules and 50 pages of exceptions.

When realizing report on profit has been showing wrong KPI for past year.

When realizing report on profit has been showing wrong KPI for past year.

When setting OLAP aggregations.

When setting OLAP aggregations.

When opening your IDE in foreign language.

When opening your IDE in foreign language.

When running SQL queries in memory and you don’t care about performance.

When running SQL queries in memory and you don’t care about performance.

When CIO announces we will not do any code refactoring, because new database engine will be in memory.

When CIO announces we will not do any code refactoring, because new database engine will be in memory.